Failed Heart

Today's walk started off as any other walk. Same routine. Parked at Kate Sessions, facing downtown. I headed to the left from my Jeep and started my walk along the cement path around the park. I really wasn't feeling my battery vest, so I decided to hold both of my batteries in my hand and carry my Hydroflask in the other hand. When I got to the point in my walk, where the steep incline started. I was really struggling. I made it, but I had to sit down to catch my breath. It was just a very real, realization that I do have a weakened heart, that has had failure on 2 separate occasions. This has taught me to not push too hard. Scale back the intensity and take my time. I am not training. I am not preparing for anything competitive. If anything I'm preparing for another open heart surgery to replace this weakened heart. So much remains of my old, training mindset tendencies. Slow down Mike, it's okay. 

out of breath.. 

Handheld.. 

Like a Tree

Every time we pass by a tree in our daily lives, how often do we think about the process it took to get to that size? Never. Maybe a few tree huggers here and there but most of us do not even consider this thought. Most of the trees around us are really, really old. On my walk today around the park, I noticed there was a new tree planted. It was a cutie. It definitely had a good start to it's growth but it was definitely a baby. I stopped and stared at the tree for a couple minutes. I took a few photos and said outlaid, " That tree is me." No I am not a tree. I feel like my life is in the same growth process of that tree. Slow and steady. I am constantly recovering, and constantly changing, but I am growing and progressing in the same forward direction... up. 

That’s me

Imagine

Imagine if you have spent a large part of your life feeling confused, mislead and just plain lost with the intent on finding your direction. During that time you are constantly desperate, constantly seeking validation & consistently seeking recognition for your efforts. Imagine if you have ventured out into various different areas of your career, pursuing your interests, working multiple jobs at a time and still coming home at the end of your 15 hour day, to focus on projects that might never ever come to fruition. Yet you stayed focused. You stayed positive. You saw your vision. You believed in your vision. You never ever even considered the idea of giving up. It eventually took a heart attack & open heart surgery to allow you to recognize, that each and everyone of those efforts were never futile. Each and everyone one of your adversities ended up strengthening you beyond your wildest comprehension. Every failed attempt at a friendship, relationship, career or intention was actually just a unexpected lesson you subconsciously learned. If all along that all of your physical & mental pain, uncertainty would all add up to being your life’s work, would you be okay with that? Obviously this is my life. My answer to that question is yes. There is much left to this story. Much more pain and uncertainty that I know is ahead of me, which means I have much more work to do. I love this life. I love this path. My path from the second I was born was to inspire, motivate and get the most out of life. This year has definitely shown me what I am capable of. Cannot wait for 2018. I hope nothing but the best for all of you to live your best life. We all deserve endless health and happiness.