Not in Good Timing
I am sitting in the hospital waiting room waiting to be admitted. This is definitely significantly different from the last time I was admitted. There’s no drama. If anything I feel like I’m in an airport waiting for a flight. I’m looking for an outlet to charge my phone, getting ready for a long trip. The waiting room is empty, I am alone waiting for Missy to come meet me. Once she gets here, we’re going to go upstairs and get admitted to the 7th floor. I have tears in my eyes but not the front, the back. They’re ready to fall but they’re not. I’m not scared. I’m more frustrated. I have so much I want to do. My book is not done yet. My speaking career has not launched yet. This is definitely not in good timing.
12 Years Cancer Free
I am sitting here at night doing my usual writing. Dialing in my podcast, refining my inspirational speeches and I glanced at the calendar on my laptop. It hit me that tomorrow is a pretty special day. It is my 12th year free of cancer. I usually celebrate with a bunch of friends, have a few drinks and such. This year is different. It's a bit bittersweet. Reality hits, and it hits hard. I would normally be grateful for how amazing I was feeling, and how healthy my life has been. Once I had the heart attack, honestly, I didn't know I would get to the point of celebrating. I didn't know how/if my life would ever be the same again. Now that I'm almost six months out from the LVAD being put in my heart, I have MUCH to celebrate. I have a different, AMAZING life. I am living. I am thriving. I am doing the best I can, to get my health back. I have much more to accomplish with my health and the direction of my life. I have the most amazing girlfriend, family/friends, anyone can ask for. I have SO much to work for, so much to live for.
