Don’t Stop

I have good news and good news.

The good news is I am nine days out since having the skin cancer removed from my cheek, and the incision site being covered by a skin graft from under and behind my ear lobe. My healing powers are still in tact. My pride and mindset forged with a new mindset:

Don’t stop for nothing (spellcheck wants me to use “anything”, but this is me). What does this mean? Well, instead of letting the known fact of my anti-rejection medication being a catalyst to additional skin cancer scares, and potential different cancer/organ issues, paralyze me and create depressive and negative thoughts/outlooks. I am not going to stop living. The only time I will show up for a medical/doctor’s appointment, is for my annual heart transplant checkups and if an injury/condition is unbearable. If I am unable to walk, to ride, to speak, to be independent, then I will go to Urgent Care, ER etc. Why?

Well, this came from how my skin cancer was found. I had my annual dermatologist appointment, which is a part of my annual heart transplant checkup. They found two spots that they wanted to biopsy. One which was a bit painful for a while, on the top part of my left ear lobe. The other was a painless, dried spot which I barely noticed. Turned out the painful spot was nothing and the painless spot was malignant. This experience blew my mind and really wrecked me the past few weeks. Had many nights crying myself to sleep, wondering if moving into the camper was a good decision being newly diagnosed with this skin cancer, wondering/worrying if I’m going to die from something that doesn’t hurt but somehow appeared on/in my body. Truth is, that is not how I want to live. That is not “living the best life I can”. It’s living my life scared, holding me back is not healthy for this heart.

The other good news is finally feeling adapted to living in the camper. Finally living some level of organized. A “rhythm” of some sort. Not riding a bunch, mainly the e-bike for groceries and errands. A lot of walking (thanks Linky). Much less time on the phone, social media. More time reading, breathing and living with less angst and anxiety. Being among the trees, the Topo Topo mountains and incredible friends, really is good for the heart and soul. I suggest you find yours. Life is too short to not.

Basic

Finding comfort in being uncomfortable is a key part to this new life of mine. Appreciating the convenience of running water. Being able take a shower, making your favorite meals and managing the dishes and the water you are using for this task. How many seconds of running water do you really need to wash your face, your hands and that coffee cup? Living in a camper, those grey water tanks collect all of that runoff and excess water used. That water that is flowing into the drain, that you are not using, is wasted. You aren’t able to drink, or shower with that wasted water. It’s crucial to recognize your desire and the actually need of basic human needs and hygiene. To be in this position, I am grateful for these lessons that continue to inspire and show me the different ways of living and thriving in this new chapter of my life.