alone

from time to time, I get these memories that come out of nowhere. They bring me back to a time when something traumatic happens. Postively traumatic and negatively traumatic. I remember before my phone was also my notepad, I would drive to the beach by myself. Life was tough and I just needed to clear my head. I lived about 20 minutes away from Jones Beach. the beaches out there were just perfect when you needed to be by yourself.

I’d sit on the dock of an abandoned restaurant and just stare. I’d cry. I’d yell. I’d scream. Wasn’t really confident on my means of expression but I felt the ocean understood.

tonight, I am alone. It was only Lincoln and I, and that was perfect. No ex girlfriend, no friends, no family, just him and I. He literally made me belly laugh. He is a special creature and I am so lucky to have him. I like being alone.

Not exactly sure how to put words or a title to this but, I have this insatiable desire for more. More living. More experiences. More laughs. More smiles. Different scars. Different memories. Different locations. All new. All fresh. New stories. New living. that’s what I want.

alone.