Endless Rapids

A major contribution to my recent mental health decline during this skin cancer diagnosis, has been my first hand experiencing and witnessing of my mom’s worsening psychological condition, for the past several months. In person it was the most excruciating experience, especially as she was my biggest safety blanket during my initial diagnosis with cancer. She was with me for every single needle stick and chemotherapy pill, at the beginning of this insane medical journey of mine, back in 2004. Then when I had the heart attack, she was able to come visit me in the hospital and just was that fucking rock that I always could rely on, and lay my head when I needed to cry. Then she was diagnosed with lung and liver cancer (right after discovering her having the BRCA gene/getting double mastectomy 👍). The radiation and chemotherapy completed blasted her mind. If you think my story is crazy, it’s nothing compared to the legend my mom is/was. Now that I left her and tried to live my dreams of living in my camper on the road, she’s not there anymore for calls. For texts. She’s beyond confused and is doing the best she can living the best life she can. I realized that since I she is unable to be that person that I need. I now need to find professional help. Day by day.