Mike Cohen

During the sixteen years since I had cancer, the first couple years I had a lot of resentment towards the concept of cancer. Almost similar to a resentment or somewhat of a superstition. Whenever I would see any pink ribbons, LIVESTRONG bracelets, anything mentioning “cancer”, I would shudder. I’d have severe internal PTSD about memories from that period of my life. At that point in my life, after two and half years of chemotherapy, I had just begun to put myself back together again. It would make sense for me to feel some level of something towards a disease that almost ended my life. At least from my current perspective, I think it makes sense.

Where I am now, I don’t have that same perspective towards my most recent ailments; experiencing a severe heart attack at 32 years old, due to a blood clot caused by the two and half years of chemotherapy I had earlier in my life. Then eventually being in the position to receive a heart transplant. The concept of hearts is something that is constantly on my mind, and consistently a part of my life. While, I am not a big fan of “Hallmark holidays”, whenever I see anything having a heart on it, I smile.

It’s probably due to how often the word and concept of heart has been in my life. Maybe it’s because of my two open heart surgeries, living with an LVAD (Left Ventricle Assist Device) to eventually be on the path, to receiving a third chance at life. Being beyond grateful to have had the opportunity, to meet my heart donor’s family and pay my in person respect, to his burial site.

I no longer believe in superstitions, I don’t cringe when I see the word cancer. I beat cancer. I don’t have any reason to feel inferior. I’m proud to be a survivor of my health issues and throughout all of this, I always was inspired and motivated by my heart. I’m also proud to be celebrating World Heart Day in honor of James (my heart donor).

At one time in my life, I was lucky enough to have 5 living grandparents, including my great grandfather. Obviously I didn’t realize how lucky I was then, but now looking back I’m making up for when I didn’t appreciate that fact. Some people have never even met their grandparents. Going through old photos I found this one. I had more hair on my head than my face, and that was my grandpa Al.

He passed before I was diagnosed with cancer. He was an old school New York City, union carpenter. Very thick accent, and always a godfather cigar in his mouth. I remember hearing so many stories about how strong he was. My favorite story was how he was able to hammer a nail in with one short, compact, powerful swing. The other story I loved of him was when he was a few moments away from closing his eyes for the final time, he had a breathing tube that kept falling off his face. My dad kept putting it back on. The last time my dad tried, my grandfather grabbed his hand, and my dad wasn’t able to move his hand from my grandpa’s grip. Such a legend.

I wasn’t able to properly say goodbye to him. My family allowed me to see him in his casket before we buried him. I was fortunate to have that closure. Much has happened since he passed, and I definitely miss him so much. To this exact moment, I was extremely grateful and relieved he wasn’t alive to see what I’ve been through.

This is a shout out to anyone who still has grandparents alive or if you are a grandparent yourself, salud. Thank you for the infinite love. And the extra cash in our pockets.

#gratitude #mikecohen #familyfirst #inspiration